It's A Comedy Show!
by GothicChickForChrist
Summary: Hosted by Sora! WHATEVER WILL HAPPEN! NO ONE WILL KNOW UNLESS THEY READ! PLEASE, R&R! I love y'all!
1. Signs and Girls

Alyssa: Hello everybody! I have started a new fanficy! So I hope you enjoy it! There'll be a few people in it I hope but one major character. Disclaimer, please!

Disclaimer: Miss Alyssa does not own Kingdom Hearts or ANY of the characters or songs or any ideas that I have taken from anybody!

Leon: I know you all have been waiting for this moment. But you'll have to hold on a moment. Because we have a different entertainment act until he gets here! Please welcome… Xemnas!

Xemnas: -Walks in waving-

Narrator: Know your stars, know your starts, know you stars, know your stars… Xemnas… He likes to drink tea and play with little dollies

Xemnas: No I don't! That's not MANLY enough!

Narrator: Xemnas… He likes to ballet with Demyx

Xemnas: NU UH! IT'S NOT MANLY!

Demyx: I DON'T BALLET!

Narrator: Do, too.

Xemnas: Nuh uh!

Narrator: Yeah huh!

Xemnas: YAH!  
Narrator: Xemnas… He likes to play dress up with his mommy's clothes.

Xemnas: No I don't!

Narrator: No you know… Xemnas! From Kingdom Hearts!

Xemnas: NO I DON'T! I MEAN THEY I MEAN! YAAAAAAAH!  
Leon: Now, Welcome… SORA!

Sora: -Walks in- Hey everyone! –Waves-

Everybody: -Claps-

Sora: How are you guys doin' tonight?

Everybody: -Tells him-

Sora: Oh! That's wonderful! Ya know… I was JUST on my way over here and you know me… I obey the signs… I was walking in the middle of a crosswalk and it said, "Walk" So… I walked. Then right in the middle it said, "Don't Walk" –Looks around- Okay then? So I stopped. Right when it said to. All of a sudden this GUY looks at me from his car and he said, "What the hell are you doing! It's OUR turn to go! Get outta the middle of the damn street!" I looked over at him and I went… -Stares at nothing for a moment- I'm JUST obeying the signs… I ALWAYS obey the signs… It told me stop… GUESS WHAT I'M DIONG! I'm stopping! ALWAYS obey the signs! He just stared at me for the longest time and finally blew this LOOOOOOOONG honk at me and started yelling at me again so I finally just looked back him and went like this –Sticks tongue out and makes a face- eeaahhhhhhhheeeeaaaaahhh! –Stands back to normal- Then he asked me, "Why the hell do you obey the signs?" Why SHOULDN'T I obey the signs… Lemmie tell you what happened when I DID obey the signs… One time one said, "Dandy Donuts" guess what… I went in and guess what was there? –Dramatic pause- DONUTS! AND GUESS WHAT! THEY WERE DANDY! SO THE SIGN TOLD THE TRUTH! THEY WERE **DANDY DONUTS**! There was another one and it read, " Four egg McMuffins for the price of two." Guess what… I went in and I got four egg McMuffins for the price of two! So yeah! I trust signs with all my life. I told him that, too! But nooooooo! He didn't believe me! Well guess what! He got was coming to him! He didn't obey the "Stop" sign and he got flown outta his car and he flew and flew and flew threw the air until his shoes fell off and he landed in a tree. It finally said "Walk" and I ran over to him and I said, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY!" and he looked down at me and said, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I trust the signs now. Just get me an ambulance…" and I did and he did three days later from internal bleeding… I went to visit him but he hit me in the face… So I left… So that's that story. But I always believe in the signs and what they say. 'Cause ONE day… It might save your life.

Kari: -Walks out- Yeah. And lemmie tell you a lil' ditty. Sora saved my life one time by obeying those signs. One time it said, "CAUTION! HOT!" and he grabbed my hand away and told me no and then some other dude came by and said, "Thanks, chicky." And grabbed it and his hand's permanently burned for life now. So I obey the signs now, too.

Riku: -Walks out- And then one time… I was about to cross at a sign that said "Don't Walk" But he pulled me back and said, "NO! DON'T!" and all of a sudden these two cars flew right into each other in a head on collision! I was SO thankful and now… I ALWAYS obey the signs JUST like Sora. He is my sign idle!

Both: -Leaves-

Sora: It's okay. It's okay! Guys… I only did it 'cause I love yas… Y'all want me to say anything else?

Audience: YEAH!  
Sora: Okay… So I don't get girls at ALL! They're always just like, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! THIS AND THAT! AND THAT AND THIS! You can NEVER understand what the hell they're saying 'cause they're always talking like, "lalalalalalalaljejejeblahblahblahdadadadaddadadaddadadadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" –Pauses and stares like someone's crazy- What the hell did you just say? They're always like that and then there's those one time of the monther things and there mad one moment and happy the next then sad then their glad you're with them and then they're able to kill someone for some odd reason. And it's just like, "Settle down! You'll be fine! It's gonna be okay!" And they get all sad and start to cry and say –Acts like a girl- "No it's not! It's NOT going to be okay! It's NEVER going to be okay! I need ice cream!" Ummm… Okay… You go do that… Why they always eat ice cream when their sad I'll NEVER know! Oh! And then… There was this one LIL' chick that looked up at me and said, "Are you my daddy? 'Cause I miss my dad. Do you know where my daddy is? I dunno where my daddy is. Can you help me find him? I think we should go and see if we can find him somewhere. What do you think? I think it's a good idea. Do you think it's a good idea? Let's go and find him. Okay? Okay!" I looked down at her and was like… What? Speak a little slower… I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU! Then this other chick walks up to me and says, "You've got moobs… Better get 'em off somehow… I looked at her and went, "What?" and she said, "Moobs… They're man boobs…" and then she walked away… I looked down at my self and back up at her and was like… "Whatever." –Weird look- Whaaaaaaaaateevr…

Leon: Tell them about your cousins' birthday party!

Sora: Oh, Yeah! There was this ONE little girl at my younger cousin's birthday party. He was turning five 'er six 'er something and ALL of a sudden she trots over to me. –Trots- Stops looking up at me. –Stops and looks up a bit and to audience- And she looks all innocent like this… -Gives real innocent look- And all of a sudden she goes, "How old are you? Where'd you get your giant house key from? Why do you even have it with you? Why are you here? Does someone like you? Is that why you were invited? Do you like ice-cream? Are we having ice-cream? Where are your parents at? Do you like McDonalds? What grade are you in? Do you have a little brother? Do you like flowers? What's your favorite color? Do you like music? Who's your favorite band group? Do you like pirates? Do you like cake? What are you going to be when you're older? Do like swimming?" And I stopped and stared at her. I was like… This is the devil's lil' girl RIGHT here in a BIG package! He's been following me and he finally gave it to me and said, "Sora! Open it! It's for you!" And I was stupid enough open the damn thing! I finally just stood up and walked away and she kept talkin' and talkin' as if someone were there… I came back three hours… Notice, THREE –Puts up three fingers- THREE HOURS, key word, Later and she was STRILL talkin' like NOBODYS business… I bent down and I said, "Hey… You DO know the party's over right?" and she got this angry face and said, "DON'T INTURUPT ME! IT'S RUDE!" and then she ran away crying. I looked down like… What the hell was that? –Makes weird face- But whatever… That's her parents' problem. Not mine. So whatever… Well… That's all the time I've got… So goodnight!

Alyssa: Yeah… I know that was stupid but, whatevs… I tried. If you have any idea for me then you can give them to me if ya want. But Sora will always be the person ma bobber. But ya... R&R I guess. Hope y'all liked it. I'll post another chappie up later when I think of more plot and stuff so yeah. Love y'all. 'Night! –Waves and leaves-


	2. What goes on in Soras poor daily life?

1Alyssa: Hello everybody! Here is some more of me new fanficy! So I hope you enjoy it! There'll be a few people in it, I hope, But one major character. Disclaimer, please!

Disclaimer: Miss Alyssa does not own Kingdom Hearts or ANY of the characters or songs or any ideas that I have taken from anybody!

Sora: Hey everyone! I'm back!

Audience: Yaaaay!

Sora: Yeah I know! So... I have a question for all of you... What the HELL is up with all these new song? Or ones that "Used to be popular but they all died out" songs? Like the one Alyssa's been singing lately! -Starts to sing- I'm walkin' on sunshine! Wooooah! -Stops staring in midair with an expression on his face- Oookay? Alyssa's apparently gone crazy... -Stands up straight- I asked her, "Alyssa... You seem happy today..." and she smiles this HUGE smile and goes, "YESH I DID! And I had a cappuccino!" I stared at her for the longest time. Well... There's the problem right there... No more sugar for YOU! I found out the hard way... That the 8o'S are coming back... And very soon may I add... I've seen people dressing like Madonna. I was like, "No! Lord, NO! DON'T LET **HER** OUT OF** ALL** PEOPLE COME BACK TO LIFE! LORD PLEASE!" -Begs with one hand in air bent a bit and head up- It was a bad day for me that day... -Walks around-

Then... Alyssa and her friends have been going on with "Phobias" Her favorite phobia right now is, " Hippopotomonstrsesquippealiphobia" It's the fear of long words... NO joke! LONG words! For people who are scared of long words... They wouldn't be able to FINISH it! Let alone get to the middle! It's be like, "Yeah... I have hippopotomosts- OH MY GOD! IT'S A LONG WORD! IT'S GONNA KILL ME!" -Cowers in fear- -Stands up again- Who in their right mind would diagnose someone that had a fear of long words... With a long word itself? It's fun to say though... Hippopotomonstrsesquippealiphobia. Haha! Try saying that five times fast! Kinda hard, Ain't it! -Takes out list- There's also ones like this... Arachibutyrophobia. Who has the fear of peanut butter getting stuck to the roof of your mouth, Huh? Huh? Well then you've got Arachibutyrophobia! I am SO sorry for that. It's just like this... OH MY GOD! NO! I'M GONNA DIE! I GOT PEANUT BUTTER STUCK TO THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH! Sorry if I offended anyone...

Here's some another thing... Alyssa... She SERIOUSLY thinks she's a cat at times... She has these EARS -Points up right from head- And she wears them ALL the time! Even to school. I am DEAD serious! She will trot around the house going, -Trots around like big time marching- I WANT TUNA! I WANT TUNA! -Stops looking around- I looked at her and she just said the same thing... She wears this bell around her neck and you always know when she's coming your way. She's quick, Silent and sneaky like a cat but with that bell she'll be right here next to you and it's just, "Yeah, I know you're there, Alyssa." And she'll yell, "OHHHHH! How'd you know?!" And all ya have to do is point to her bell... You know that show "Tokyo Mew Mew"? Yeah... She likes to dress like Ichigo but in black insted. She's got the boots... The dress thing... Black gloves, the bell thing... Everything... Except the black hair... And the arm band thing. She LOVES to pretend she's a cat... I could go on forever like that... OH! And don't even get me STARTED about the whole yarn incident! Especially at band camp! WHEW! Talk about a big mess that WE all had to clean up...

Okay... Alyssa has this one friend, Right? Her name is Alexis. She is the most random person you'll ever meet along with Alyssa. Here's a list of what she's said before... "I was a potato once...","Potatoes...","I was a bush once... Not really...","Cloud.. WHOOO! Now get on your bike! You're like a tiger and the hair is blowing through your hair!","HAHAHAHAHAAA! I can make funny noises with my mouth!","CANDY BARS!","YUM YUM YUM YUM! CANDY BARS! TACO BELL! CANDY BARS!","ZACK LIKES CANDY BARS! CLOUD LIKES COOKIES!","I know! It's 'cause I'm special with my phone and my CANDY BARS! CHOCOLATE CANDY BARS! AND MY COOKIES!... CANDY BARS ARE FALLING FROM THE SKY! OMG! HE'S SIXTEEN... AND SEXY... WITH HIS CANDY BARS! Must... Eat... CANDY BARS! A COOKIE?!","A potato?! WHAT?!","I'm not an introuder! I'm just a person who has to pee REALLY bad!", "Ya know what? I've got a smartie... IN MY PANTS!","Mmmm! Candybars! We've got some chocolate, Some candy bars... Some chips if ya have them.","Zack is sexy!","A potato from the missing Amazon?"," Who said potatoes couldn't talk! I told ya the power of potatoes would win!" And that's only a SMALL list from one conversation from like... a fifteen minute time spand... That's how MOST of Alyssa's friends are...

She has this one friend named Christina... Let me tell you... All she talks about is Lyssas other friend named Tim and perverted things... And horns.. Oh my! She made up SONGS for her obsessions! Talk about havng an obsessive compulsive disorder... And I thought Alyssa was bad with pirate things. You should see her room! PIRATE stuff ALL around! Everywhere you look! GET A LIFE WILL YA?! Today Alyssa had a football game to go to 'cause she's in band... She kept going up to members in the band and saying, "You've got aids!" Or... "You've got HIV!" And Dave wasn't helping much. He was singing a song about herpes... In a way it was funny though But it was CRAZY! They got free hotdogs, chips and Pepsi today... Tim scarfed down his food like there was NO tomorrow! One minute you look at him with full hands. You turn around for two seconds and then look back and he's empty handed. We were all in awe like this. -Makes a face and leans over- WHERE'D IT GO?! YOU THREW IT AWAY OR SOMETHING?! No... I ate it... DUH! Ooooooooookay then...YOU do that... Well that's all the time I have for today... So... See ya laters...


End file.
